Handling Upset Patrons: from the irate to the insane

Presenter Warren Graham
[NOTE: I brought back a copy of Warren's book, if anyone would like to borrow it.]

4 levels of emotion
Anxiety
Belligerence
Out of Control
Calm


Anxiety
Patron is upset but civil.

Stop, look at them, listen.

Genuine empathy in the face of anxiety goes a long way.

I know you're upset, but we're gonna get this worked out.

Nod, tell the patron you understand.

I understand (not I agree--there's a difference)

Well now, let me make sure I've got this right... (then rephrase what you've heard)


Belligerence
Patron is getting out of hand, possibly yelling, slapping counter, cursing the library (not you).

Establish your credibility ASAP, but don't match their emotion.

Sir, you've asked me. Now let me explain it to you. We're gonna get this worked out.

We're gonna work this out, but I'm not going to let you yell at me.

Be careful if you are an emotional person. Don't sink to their level.

Do not tell them to calm down---instead say compose yourself.

Don't use words like rules or policy, instead say the library does not allow that.

Keep redirecting patrons back to the issue.

When dealing with patrons in this state, you may find that you have uncontrollable physical reactions like trembling hands, face is flush, butterflies in the stomach. That is your fight-or-flight instinct and it is completely natural. It does not mean that you can't handle the situation.


Out of Control
Patron is no longer cursing the library, they are cursing you.
They are communicating a threat, exhibiting aggressive movements.
They might be drunk or high.
You may have told them to leave and they say no.

If you are threatened, that is assault.
If they touch you, that is battery.
If you are threatened or touched, call police.

Many librarians have a reluctance to ban patrons. However, if you don't deny access to those who are destroying the library, then you are inadvertently denying access to other patrons who may not come to your library because you refuse to provide a safe environment.

It is important to treat everyone the same and to have established rules and guidelines.


Calm
The state that most of your patrons are in.



Now that you know the 4 levels, what do you do?

Identify which level your patron is in at the moment, then fall back on the strategies above that work 95% of the time.

You will build confidence the more you learn to identify and address each level.

Note: Make sure that your staff is not your problem.
Many times, it is the staff's inability to handle situations that escalates situations.

5 questions that you should answer

Am I passive or aggressive by nature?

Am I an emotional or logic-based person?

Am I introverted or extroverted?

Do I like people?

Do I like my job?